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ISOMERE URWENYA USEKE URUHUKE
1. umwana yatashye yasinze ageze murugo asanga nyina yicaye munzu,umwana ashaka kubwira nyina ngo mwiriwe ariko kuko yari yasinze biranga akajya avuga ngo mwiri? mwiri? noneho reka hinjire se nawe yahiye(yasinze)yumva umwana aravuga ngo mwiri?mwiri? i Se yahise amusubiza ngo twiri yazamuye nintoki ebyiri (amuha peace)2. Umugabo yari aziko bashaka umugore go amutecyere gusa ariko atazi yaze kusha umukobwa bageze muburiri umukobwa akabona ntacyo yibwira niko gupanga umutwe wo kuzahamwereka maze ngo arebe umunsi umwe barikumwe aratandaraza umugabo abibonye arasakuza ati umugore wange afite igisebe musi yamaguru.komeze ...usome ibindi
3. Umusazi yaramaze iminsi avuye i ndera agera ahantu abapolisi bafashe umuntu anyara ku muhanda nuko atangira kubashyigikira abapolisi batagira kwishima ngo babonye umuntu ubashyigikira wamusazi arababwira ngo uzi iyo ngiye kwituma ahantu nkasanga barahabojeje ninkari
4. Umugabo yagiye kwicuza kwa Padili, igihe yinjiye muri bwa bwiherero bwa Padili, anyura ku mukobwa mumwe mu bahereza! abona ni umukobwa mwiza kuruta abo yahuye nabo! nuko ageze imbere ya padili, amubwira ati rwose narasambanye bikabije, gusa icyambabaje nuko bose bari babi, nonse reka nkwisabire akantu mbere yo kwicuza, padil ati go a head! Arasohoka azana ka gakobwa keza abonye mu bahereza , ati padi reka Mbanze numve niba nuyu amze nk'abo nabonye!
5. Umupolisi wo mu muhanda yaragasomye aragasinda, maze asubira mu kazi yavamvagaye. Akigeramo, abona imodoka ije igendera ku mucuduko urengeje urugero, maze azaamura akaboko arayihagarika. Umugore waruyitwaye aba arayiparitse ku ruhande neza, maze arebeye mu ndorerwamo ireba inyuma (retro- viseur/side mirror), abona umupolisi ari kuza yitera imitego, ahita amenya ko yaruteye. Umupolisi aramwegera n’umufuke mwishi ati : “Madame, zana uruhushya rwawe rwo gutwara imodoka hano vuba !” Umugore areba mu isakoshi, maze akuramo akirori gato yari afitemo, aramuhereza. Umupoli aragasingira vuba vuba arebamo, arangije arakamusubiza aramubwira : “Aaaah ! Kuki uteri wambwiye ko uri umupolisi mugenzi wanjye ? Ndabona tunasa wasanga hari icyo dupfana ! Ngaho fata ikarita yawe ukomeze inzira !”
6. Umwana wari ufite nyina na se ariko papa we akaba yari munini anafite nyakubahwa nini,yajyaga abona (umwana)buri gitondo ababyeyi be barimo kwikorera ibyabakuze (gutera akabariro)kandi akabona iteka mamawe arihejuru yase, ageze aho (umwana)abaza nyina ati burigihe ko nkunda kukubona uri hejuru ya papa uba uri kumukoriki? nyina namasoni menshi ati nubona ko papa wawe afite inda ibyibushye? umwana ati ndabibona, nyina ati mba mugabanya umwuka munda. Ariko hagato nyina iyo yamaraga kujya kukazi papa w'umwana yakundaga kurongora (gusambanya)umuyaye we kandi umwa akabibona system babikoragamo niyo (aman&woman babikoragamo),ubwo amazekubwira umwana ibyo aba akorera se umwana araseka cyane ati umva nkubire rwose mama uragorwa nubusa uri mwuka uba ukura muri papa nabwo uzawumaramo, nyina ati se kuberiki? umwana ati iyo umaze kujya kukazi, Tantine wawundi udutekera, akadufurira, akananyoza,araza akongera akawushyira muri papa, urumva rero ko utazawumaramo keretse Tantine narekeraho kuwumushyiramo. Bagabo nimwe mubwira!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7. MTN Vs TIGO Vs AIRTEL umunsi umwe habaye amarushanwa hati ya mtn, tigo, airtel, ayo marushanwa yabereye kuri stade amahoro ayo marushanwa yarayo gutera iseseme, ngo utera isesemi kurusha undi muri stade niwe wegukana igikombe, admin :rwenya UWATANGAGa AMANOTA YARI RULA, habanje AIRTEL yiyereka abafana na stade amahoro yuzuye, nuka airetel yaje irukuruka ibintu bisa icyatsi n'umuhondo, nuko igce cya stade amahoro aba aricyo cyigira isesemi gusa., nuko airtel yegukana amanota 50/100 nuko haza mtn everywhere you go,nayo itangira kwiyerekana abafana, yaje iriguhitwa, mbese irwaye agakanzu, ihitwa kubantu bari muri stade, maze sukuruka ariko bidakanganye maze mtn yegukana amnota 70/100 bidatinze hasesekara tigo express ur self. Yaje bose bayipinze sana yiyereka bafana maze bakavuga ngo buuu,nuko tigo ifata icyiyiko ikoza mubirutsi airtel yarutse ikoza no mumabyi mtn yahiswe nuko ira rya,maze stade amahoro yose iraruka abafana bakaruka kubandi maze na juge witwa rula araruka byahatari nuko tigo yegukana umwanya wambere namanota 99/100
8. umugabo yacunze ko madam agonnye ajya mucyumba cy'umuyaya kwiha akabyizi,agarutse madamu amubaza aho avuye ati nari nikanze abajura nya kureba ikibaye!...araryama nawe agonnye umudam ahita ajya mukazu k'umuzamu kwipfubuza cyakigabo gikangutse kiramubura gishaka munzu kiraheba gisohotse kibona madam asohotse mukazu k'umuzamu kiti ubwo uvuye he mada?? umugore ati mvuye kureba ko babajura batatunigiye umuzamu da!!
9. Umujama yajanye nabandi bagenzi biwe kwinezera muri weekend,baragiye baranyoye barariye,igihe kiragera factures iraza Alice=20.000 patient=18.000 liliane=25.000 ange=15.000 nely=22.000 Total=100.000 Wa musore afata facture arayitegerzaaaaa,arangije ati''ok,ntakibazo,abandi bose ndabarihira,ariko uwo yitwa Total ntabwo ndamurihira bwana ,kandi ama station yose yi bitoro nayiwe
10. Umunsi umwe umupadiri yararwaye agiye gupfa atumizaho GITIFU n'ushinzwe imiso mumu renge ngo aze ababwire nuko Gitufu n'umusoreshwa bibwirako agiye kubasigira amafarango doreko padiri yarumukire mumurenge. Nuko bagezeyo padiri abafata ibiganza areba hejuru, kabaye GITIFU Agira amatsiko nuko abaza padiri ati: waduhamagariye iki? Nuko padi ati: nshaka gupfa nkayesu ,yapfiriye hagata y'ibisambo bibiri. Hahahahaha!
11. Abasore bari batatu, uwambere akoresha telescope ye abona umukobwa uri mu rugo yarembye, uwa kabiri yari afite imodoka bahita bajya kumureba, naho uwa gatatu yari umuganga bagezeyo ahita amuvura! Nyuma rero papa w'umukobwa yarishimye yiyemeza gushyingira uwo mukobwa we umusore wamugiriye neza kurusha abandi muri abo. Ubwo ninde ukwiye gushyingirwa uwo mukobwa? Kubera iki se?
12. Abasinzi babiri bari mu nzira bagenda badandabirana, ubwo umwe aba atoye icyirori (miroir). Yirebye aravuga ati “Iyi sura ndayizi, gusa ndumva nibagiwe izina rya nyirayo.” Mugenzi we ahita amwambura ya ‘miroir’ na we arireba, nuko araseka cyaneeeeeee. Abwira mugenzi we ati “Sha wasinze koko ! Uyu se si njyewe ? None ngo wibagiwe izina ryanjye nta soni !?”
13. Couple yari imaze umunsi umwe ikoze marriage nuko umugabo yegera umugeni aramubwira ati umva rero nkubwire mugore nkunda urabona ubu tugiye kubana akaramata none dore ibyo ugomba kumenya kuri njyewe'nyuma ya kazi njyewe ntahira igihe nshakiye kuko mba nagiye mu kabari kunywa ni nshuti zanjye,icya 2 ntugomba kuntel umbaza ahondi kuko ntago ushinzwe kuhamenya icya3 ntukajye untegereza ninjoro kuko hari igihe ntazajya ntaha!umugore amusubiza vuba na bwangu ati mugabo mwiza ibyo ntacyo bintwaye ariko umenyeko saa moya zu mugoroba top buri munsi ngomba kurongorwa waba uhari cg udahari birakureba!"
14. Inkumi n’umusore bari bageze kure imyiteguro yo kurushinga, maze baterura ikiganiro cyo kungurana ibitekerezo ku bintu byazatuma urugo rwabo rurushaho kuba igitangaza bakagira imibanire myiza. Inkumi : Maze nitubana uzareke inzoga Umusore : Ok Inkumi : Ugomba kandi no kureka itabi Umusore : Sawa Inkumi : Ugomba kureka no kujya mu tubyiniro Umusore : OK Inkumi : Ndumva wanareka kujya ujya kureba imipira y’i Burayi kuko ituma utaha bwije Umusore : Nta kibazo Inkumi : Reka ndebe…. Wowe urumva nta kindi wumva ukwiye kureka mbere y’uko tubana ? Umusore : Ndumva nshaka kureka igitekerezo cyo kuzashyingiranwa nawe, ndabona ntazabivamo !
15. abantu baraye hamwe ari benshi ummugore umwe bamwiba umugono akangutse yumva cyatose atera hejuru ati ninde undongoye?baryumaho umuhungu we ati ko mutavuga mama arisweye?nyina nagahinda kenshi ati bihorere mwana wa nuyumva urwunyunyu aragaruka mpite mucakira
16. Umugabo yagiye kugura iNDAYA, nuko agezeyo ati: wowe uranca angahe kwituru imwe 1? NJYE NI 1000, undi ati: NJYE NI 5000, nuko uwa 3 ati: 10000!!!,umugabo ati wowe ko uhenda?? indaya iti: EREGA NDANYARAAA!!!! eeeehhh!!!! umugabo araseka cyaneee!!!! aaramubwira ati: NONEHOO! UWAGUHA 20000 WANANNYAAA??
17. Umuhungu yari afite maman we ufite ijisho rimwe. Uwo muhungu akanga maman we, yumvaga ko biteye isoni n'ikimwaro.Niwe yari asigaranye babana munzu uko ari babiri. Umunsi umwe MAMAN we ajya kumusura kw'ishuli uwo muhungu akiga muri primaire.Umuhungu akimukubita amaso biramurakaza cyane, ati uje gukora iki hano?Il l'a ignorée, et il lui a jeté un regard rempli de haine et il s'est enfui. Umubyeyi arataha ( Elle était venue lui dire bonjour) Umuhungu yumvaga ko amusebya ahantu hose. Il voulait également que sa mère disparaisse. yahoraga arakariye maman we cyane akumva ko kuba maman we afite ijisho rimwe, atameze nk'abandi babyeyi. Umuhungu aza kugira amahirwe aratsinda ibyo yigaga, ajya kwiga mukindi gihugu, agezeyo akora ubuzima akomeza amashuli, agura inzu,akora ubukwe, arabyara. Yabaye nkuhunga maman we kuko ntiyongeye kumwibuka. Umunsi umwe maman we ajya kumusura, dore ko hari hashize imyaka myinshi batabonana. Agezeyo umuhungu akimubona habe no kumusuhuza ahita umubaza ikimuzanye aho. Uwo mu maman ntabwo yari yarigeze abona abuzukuru be, abana babaye baki mubona baramwishimira cyane (burya koko abana ni abamarayika) Ariko umuhungu abwira maman we ati mbwira ibyo ushaka byose ariko umvire aha. Maman we yaramubwiye ati: mwana wanjye mbabarira nari nabuze amahoro nashakaga kureba ko ahuri utuje ,nari nkukumbuye, ndakwifuriza amahoro n'umugisha murugo rwawe. yongeraho kumubwira ati (ufite abana beza basa nka we) ahita yigendera. Abana basigaye bababaye kuko bo bari bakunze grand mère wabo batitaye ko afite ijisho rimwe. Umunsi umwe uwo muhungu abona lettre yishuli yigagaho yaho maman we atuye. Niko kujyayo, avuyeyo ajya iwabo kwa maman we ahageze abura umuntu, abaza abaturanyi bamubwira ko Maman we yitabye Imana ko hashize 2 mois. Ntabwo byigeze bimubabaza kuba amenye ko maman we yapfuye. Nuko yarakinguye ajya munzu ahasanga lettre maman we yasize amwandikiye: "Mwana wanjye nkunda, kandi ntekereza buri kanya, ntacyo ntagerageje gukora nk'umubyeyi ngo nkushimishe. Umbabarire kukubwira ibi ntinze. Kera ukiri muto wakoze accident, ubura ijisho rimwe rivamo. Jye nk'umubyeyi wawe ugukunda je ne supportais pas de te voir grandir avec un seul oeil. Alors je t'ai donné le mien. J'étais si heureuse de mon fils, qui grandissait et qui voyait un tout nouveau monde pour moi, à ma place....Je suis désolé: ta MAMAN qui t'aime de tout son coeur.." Umuhungu akimara gusoma iyo lettre yabaye nkuguye muri coma. yibutse ukuntu atigeze yishimira maman we ubuzima bwe bwose, bimutera agahinda atazigera abasha kwikuramo. Yibuka ko ubwanyuma babonana yamwirukanye amubwira nabi ngo namuvire aho..Biramubabaza cyane. Umubyeyi burya aho ari hose umutima we uhora ku bana be..., urukundo impuhwe... agira ntacyo wabigeranya nabyo, kuko ahora abifuriza ibyiza gutera imbere.Naho wamukorera ikosa abasha kukubabarira, atibagiwe ko ntawe udakosa kandi akakuyobora munzira ikwiye kandi nziza... Nukuri Imana ijye ibaha umugisha kuko barawukwiriye pe: toutes les Maman.. mérite le RESPECT..
18. Abagore babiri (b'abarundikazi) bahuriye mu kuzimu batangura kubazanya ingene bapfuye : Umwe ati wewe vyagenze gute? Uwundi ati nabaye "Congérée“. Ati bivuye kuki kugira ukonje gushika upfe? Ati banshize muri congélateur marayo umwanya munini; Uko umwanya uhera niko natetera gushika nduma. Uwundi ati yooo! wapfuye nabi basi. Uwundi nawe ati none woho vyakugendeye gute? Ati jewe reka nkuyagire: nagize crise cardiaque. Umubanyi yampenze ngo umugabo wanje araNTROMPA (Guca inyuma) nja narwo nti uzondabire. Umusi uri izina wa mubanyi nja numva ngo tabaranya unyaruke aramwinjije mu nzu. Nanje nza ntazambaye nsanga umugabo ntazo yambaye effectivement mu cumba yirabira TV ari wenyene. Nanje nti où est l’autre? Ati qui est l’autre ? Nca nja mu vyambu ndondera aho yamunyegeje ndasambagura mu bubati hose, manuka muri cave ndabura, nduga muri étage ndabura, nururutse ntsitara kuri escaliers ngwa hasi ndapfa. Uwundi ati: "Idiote!! Si tu avais ouvert le congélateur on serait toutes vivantes aujourd’hui!!!''
19. umuhungu wumugoyi yaterese umugoyi kazi amusaba imibonano umukobwa ati ndawasi tugende. Bageze kuburiri umukobwa ati nderura undimbe ungirigite unzome mvatwaga ndinze. nuko type yiha umubyizi biratinda....! arangije aha typette 300 frw. nuko typette nawe ati" mbe mwa maganatatu ngaginanasi?" type arasubiza ati nago nag'ubwende: icambereco : ndunyaraga, icakabiri ndunyongaga.icy a gatatu ndunihaga, byongeyeho uvatwaga utinze! Janago
18. Urage ureba televisiyo igihe kirekire
1.kugirango uzekubona icyo uvuga mu ishuli
2.Ntukanezezwe nuko bagenzi bawe bacecetse ngo ni uko mwarimu ahari, uge ubashakira icyo kubabwira. 3.Ntukaganire nabahanga ibyabo ni amasomo gusa.
4.Ntukifatanye n'ababajwe n'uko batsinzwe kuko si icyaha.
5.Ntugasubize mu ishuli kuko mwarimu abaza ibyazi.
6.Ntukifuze kuba uwambere cyangwa kugira amanota menshi kuko bitera guhangayika no gukora cyane. 7.Njya unezezwa na ducye kuko ibyinshi byotsa amatama
8.Njya wishimira ko wabaye uwanyuma kuko na bibiriya idusaba kwiyoroshya.
9.urajye wicara inyuma kuko niho uba ufite umutekano n'uburenganira byo kuganiza abandi bana.
10.Jya uberaho kuganiriza bagenzi bawe igihe cyose kuko na Bibiliya udusaba gukundana.
19. Umukobwa yahamagaye boyfriend we ngo naze mu rugo nta muntu uhari, umuhungu ahita atega moto yihuse agezeyo asanga harafunze maze ahamagara umukobwa: umuhungu: Allo umukobwa: Allo sweety umuhungu: cherie none se ko mbona hafunze? umukobwa: yego honey sinakubwiye ko nta muntu uhari. ... umuhungu: Nonese wampamagariye iki? umukobwa: Yego disi igihungu nyine ejo bundi baherutse kutwiba, nagirango ube uraho bataza kongera kutwiba
20. umusaza nA mukeru we basazanye baricaye barimo banywa akantu! Mu kanya gato umukecuru aba ateruye ikirahure cye atangira kuvuga ngo cheri ndagukunda rwose kurusha ibiremwa byose byo kwisi! Umusaza biba biramutunguye kuko yaherukaga izina cheri agahararo katarashira ati se mugore nkunda utewe n'ibiki? umukecuru ati ni iki kirahure cya byeri rwose byeri iraryohera kuburyo ntacyayindutira!!!! 20. Umwana ya bajije nyina ati : kuki munkubitira kwambara ikariso? Nyina ati : nukugira ngo uhishe icyubahiro cyawe! Umunsi umwe iwabo haza abashyitsi nuko nyina abwira umwana ati : wahaye abashyitsi icyubahiro, nuko umwana azamura ikariso abaha icyubahiro! Ngaho nguko.
21. Abagabo 3 bakoshereje umwami, nuko umwami arabwira ati ntabwo mbica ariko ndaba akazamini gato ugatsinda ndamureka agende! Nuko arababwira ati: ni mujye mwishyamba buri muntu anzanire imbuto icumi yifuza, nuko baragenda, uwambere aba azanye amacunga 10 umwami aramubwira ati: ngaho yashyire mukibuno agere munda kdi ntutake, ashyiramo iryambere, ashyizemo iryakabiri, aba aratatse,Bahita bamwica Nuko uwakabiri aba azanye inkeri nuko umwami aramubwira ati: ngaho nawe zishiremo izo nkeri 10 mukibuno , azishyiramo ageze kuya 9, aba arasetse nawe baramwica, nuko abo bagabo bapfuye bahurira mwijuru, uwi nkeri abwira uwa macunga ati: ariko wabonaga ariya macunga yari kunyura mukibuno, nuko aramusubiza ati: ntabwo narinziko tugiye kuyashyira mukibuno, nuko uwamacunga nawe aramubaza ati: wowe se byakunanije iki? Nawe aramusubiza ati:nazishyizemo zose nuko ngiye gushyiramo iya 10 mbona wawundi wagatatu azanye ibihaza 10, nibajije aho ari bubinyuze ibitwenge bihita binyica nanjye baba baranyishe!
22. Akana kavuye kwishuli kicara muri bus inyuma ya shoferi gatangira kuririmba kati "iyo papa aza kuba isake mama akaba inkokokazi mba narabaye umushwi tararara... iyo mama aba inka, papa akaba ikimasa mbanarabaye akanyana tarararara..." shoferi umujinya uramwica aragakanga ati "wakagoryiwe iyo so aba umujura nanyoko akaba indaya wari kuba iki?" umwana ati "Nibyo naringiye kuvuga nari kuba umushoferi wa bus." bagasohora katumva katabona..!!
23. Abasazi babiri bashatse gutoroka muri prison maze umwe wumvaga ko ari muzima abwira undi ati: genda urebe niba urugi rufunguye , turarwica cg niba hari urukuta rurerure turarusimbuka undi nawe aragenda asanga nta rukuta nta n'urugi ,ahita agaruka abwira wawundi ati: ntabwo bigishobotse gutoroka pe ! Nta rugi ruhari nta n'urukuta!
24. Akana kavuye kwishuli kicara muri bus inyuma ya shoferi gatangira kuririmba kati "iyo papa aza kuba isake mama akaba inkokokazi mba narabaye umushwi tararara... iyo mama aba inka, papa akaba ikimasa mbanarabaye akanyana tarararara..." shoferi umujinya uramwica aragakanga ati "wakagoryiwe iyo so aba umujura nanyoko akaba indaya wari kuba iki?" umwana ati "Nibyo naringiye kuvuga nari kuba umushoferi wa bus." bagasohora katumva katabona..!!
25. Umugabo yabanaga n'umugore we amuhisha ko anwa itabi, umunsi umwe umugabo azayarinweye, umugore aramubaza ati : ko numva mubitugu byawe hanuka nkumuntu unwa itabi? Umugabo we aramuza ati : wari waryamana n'undi mugabo? Umugore ati: oya, umugabo we ahita amubwira ati : nuku ibitugu byabagabo binuka!
26. Umwana wumukobwa yakinaga nabandi baramushuka ngo yurire igiti baramuha ijana atashye abibwira nyina nawe ati:bagiragango bakurebere ikariso wakigoryi we.umwana amusubiza agira ati: nanjye sindi igicucu rero nabanje nyikuramo!!
27. Urwenya : impyisi yagiye kwa padiri kwihana nuko igezeyo ibwira padiri, nje kwicuza ibyaha, padiri ati ntakibazo ndagusengera, nuko impyisi iti: nariye ihene zabandi, nariye intama zabandi, mugihe itararangiza kwihana y'umva intama ziri guhebeba hanze nuko impyisi ibyira padiri iti ngirira vuba ndebe utwo dutama turi guhebeba hanze nzaba ni cuza icyindi gihe!
28. Urwenya : umwarimu yabwiye abanyeshuri gushushanya imodoka, umwe muribo abona bimugoye nuko ashushanya umurongo umwe hasi undi hejuru n'uko mwarimu ahageze ari gukosora abaza wamwana, ati imodoka nakubwiye ngo ushushanye irihe? Umunyeshuri aramusubiza ati uyu ni umuhanda usanze igiye!
29. Umubyeyi yabwiye umwana we ati mukinyarwanda kiza ntibavuga kurya bavuga gufungura! Reka rero umubyeyi asange umwana arira aramuza ati wabaye iki? Umwana ati : ati inzoka ziri kumfungura. ( munda hari kurya) 30.
SUBIRA INYUMA
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